Islamabad: Earlier today, Federal Information Minister Pervaiz Rasheed had to book a hurried flight out to do a quick Umrah to cleanse himself of the vile sin he had committed.
Apparently while speaking about universities, the one in which Imran Khan’s son goes to came up. His exact words were “I will not take the name of that place. I will not take the name of that place because if a Muslim speaks that name, he will have to do wuzu (ritual ablution). But ask Khan Saheb what this area’s name is. If Khan Saheb tells you this name, he will also have to do wuzu.”
A little confused, a journalist asked him if he was talking about the place called “Middlesex.”
In utter and complete shock, the minister instinctively covered his mouth and uttered a very loud “Hawwwww.”
“You have to do wuzu now. You have uttered the bad bad word.”
The journalist politely informed him that the Sex in Middlesex (Sussex, etc) comes from the word Saxon who were settlers there. Saxon itself comes from the ‘seax’ which is a kind of knife they were known for. Even their ceremonial emblem has 3 seaxes in it.
“No it doesn’t. If it means that then why do I only think of dirty thoughts when I read or hear the word?”
“I don’t mean to imply anything rude but that would be all you and the thoughts in your head sir,” replied the journalist. “There is a place called Poo in Spain, that doesn’t mean that that is it’s main ingredient. There is a place called Six Mile Bottom in the UK as well. That feat is not even physically possible if you really think, harder than usual about it sir. What do you think of when someone says Brazil sir? Do you wiggle your eyebrows?”
“Are you going to Lahore from here sir?”
“Lahore? Yes Why? And you really mean to say Middlesex…. OH MY GOD! I said the bad word. YOU made me say it! I said the haram word! Now I have to do an Umrah and undo my sin. Wuzu won’t be enough!”
He continued after a brief silence: “Astaghfirullah! Now I get why you said Lahore! How will I ever go there now? What the hell, now my eyebrows are wiggling!! Why are they wiggling!”
“You journalists are evil! You are Satan himself!” screeched the minister as he rushed off with his entourage of 68 nodding men.
Article first appeared on Khabaristan Times